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Thursday, February 12th, 2009
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3:40 am - Hello?
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3:38 am - Writer's Block: Early Birds, Night Owls
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I stay up late until it has become early again. The rest of the world seems very offended by the idea that I prefer to live that way. My work schedule and school schedule rarely cooperate with this.
current mood:  awake
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(comment on this)
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3:32 am - Writer's Block: Down on Memory Lane
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At less than a year old I remember trying to climb a staircase in my parent's apartment. The orange carpet stands out the most from all the tactile memories. I tried to climb up but got scared half way up. I remember being too scared to climb up or climb back down so I sat down on the steps and cried. I'd like to think this isn't some kind of metaphore for my life. :P
current mood: awake
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3:24 am - Writer's Block: Dream Job
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If I am literally not bound by anything I would be Indiana Jones. What more can you ask out of life? He has a steady gig teaching love sick youth the mysteries of the past, then at a moment's notice he's whisked away to investigate fowl play or fogotten tombs. It's history, it's risky adventure, world travel, exotic foods, Nazi ass-kicking and you always get the love interest at somepoint (and there's ALWAYS a love interest). And let us not forget, Sean Connery is your father. :)
current mood: Adventurous!
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| Tuesday, November 6th, 2007
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8:09 pm - Wow, I haven't been here in forever
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I used to be intimidated by things but now, I'd have to say I've learned the value of getting over my fears.
Success
Current mood: excited
The Halloween party went off with maybe one or two hitches... it was too hot because I had alot of guests for my little apartment but I was happy to see everyone anyway. Soon I will have happy pics of joy and spookiness to share. I'm in a good mood today because I've learned that I'm not insane and other people see the same things I do. Yeah! I can explain that if I really must but for now let that be the end of it.
Been so busy, busy busy... First Meagan's B-day, then my party, then Micah's B-day at Disneyland (had so much fun, thank you Micah!)then N's B-day and Danica's party and Now my dad's B-day and last Jentina's... aargh so many parties! It definitely beats staying home. If I were a Sim my social meter were be near full. ;P Danica if you have a journal on here I just want to tell you that your party rocked! I had such a great time talking to Josie and Cassie and meeting new people. I wish I could have stayed longer, but I had work the next day. Hope you do it again.
I am wondering if I should plan something for Christmas? Maybe a solstice festival? I know I'm not likely to be invited to T and M's get together so why miss out on an excuse to eat, drink and be merry?
This summer I want to do something adventurous, I want to go somewhere very different and far away. If I weren't in a lease I would sign up for the peace corps like I've wanted to do since I left high school. I found out they only want you after you've had a few years of college. Anyway, I'm thinking Egypt or Algeria. N is thinking Scotland or Japan... I think we'll put names in a hat. Despite Halloween splurging I've been very good with my budget and have socked away enough to where we should be able to afford it. Keep fingers crossed for me! If anyone else is interested in adventure while we're still young let me know. It will even be educational... when we're not partying...
Next thought: Maybe wanting to be the next Indiana Jones as a kid wasn't such a stupid idea. The more history classes I take the more I wonder if that's what I want for my life. Research historian, visit sites of interest and use my detective skills to find out what really happened. Who knows? I'm still such a child, trying on different hats to see which fits. The Buddha says life is always learning, it is also suffering but suffering and learning can be much the same.
Take care to everyone I know. Also the book I have listed as "now reading" is really good if anyone likes life stories.
Reading-
Cold River Spirits: The Legacy of an Athabascan-Irish Family from Alaska’s Yukon River
By Jan Harper Haines
Release date: October, 2000
current mood:  excited
current music: Computer Hummmm...
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, July 12th, 2006
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10:35 pm - Move Out Info/Stuff to know
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Just letting anyone who needs/wants to know that this coming weekend we are starting our move. For those whom aren't already aware yanagi-san, her so, N-kun, LadyLaryssa, Shard-kun and I are all moving into an apartment together. We are in a mad packing rush to get stuff out and into the new place. This strange arrangement comes about because our current living situations are not so pleasant and California rent is attrocious.
Previously in our story: I was living with N-kun in an apartment with L-chan and X-chan which we all left after a year to live in a house sold to X-chan by his father. The house turned out to be a lemon but we all struggled on. For six months we've lived with bad wiring, circut breakers that blow at least once a week, a house with no insulation or central air or heat. This means in the winter we froze and in the summer it's now 85 degrees or more ALL DAY LONG until almost 1 in the morning, plus brown running water, filthy rooms upon move in, a backyard that looks like the place washing machines go to die, a kitchen with no stove or oven and floors that creek enough that you feel you will fall through the floor at any moment. A few months back I mad a deal with X-chan to allow my good friend yanagi-san and her signifigant other to take the extra bedroom in the house that was used for storage before. I only suggested this because they were desparate to move back to Cali from Missouri and had no where else to go. Otherwise I hope they would have ended up someplace much nicer. When X-chan decided to announce that he might sell the house because it was a very EXPENSIVE lemon or raise the rent for our hovel we looked quickly for somewhere new to go.
Now: We are leaving X-chan and L-chan with their lemon and I am taking N-kun, yanagi-san and her SO with to the new place that we shall live. It will be crowded but at least this new place is not a ghetto hovel and hopefully my other married friends LadyLaryssa and Shard-kun will be much nicer to us all.
If anyone is interested in helping out money is always useful since we're all so poor but because you all are probably in the same boat I won't ask it of you. Physical help moving would also be SOOOOOOOO very appreciated because of the amount of stuff that must be moved around. Also, any extra packing boxes anyone might have would be very, very useful to me and LadyLaryssa. I hope this explains why you might not see me online much in the next few weeks and some of the weirdness going on here. Be well everyone and if we survive we might have a house warming party.
current mood:  aggravated
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| Saturday, April 8th, 2006
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7:49 pm - As I've said everywhere else...
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As I've said everywhere else I post anything of any sort.... YEAH I HAVE NET BACK!!!! And truly other than my friend coming back to town and living here nothing else of interest is really going on. Friday/Saturday morning was fun (had an all nighter with the girls) but it made me feel old. We were so wasted after a day and night of no sleep it was sad. Oh well... the cookies are still good. :)
current mood: amused
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, March 5th, 2006
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8:44 am - Just something Odd Because I can
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1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
-"Phytonutrients (phyto is the Greek word for plant), have been identified in recent studies." (Actually the nearest book was in Chinese and I couldn't read it but the next nearest was "Encyclopedia of Foods"
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
-I hit a plain white wall...not too interesting.
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
-Will and Grace with my Mother...that was...odd
4. Without looking, guess what time it is? 8:42
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
-8:27 not too bad.
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
-Very energetic Birds.
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? Last night to come to my friend Majo's house.
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
- A 12 in figure of Sepheroth. He's so pretty :)
9. What are you wearing?
-That's a bit personal, no? Um.. Silverish velvet shirt and swooshy black pants.
10. Did you dream last night?
Yes, about fighting my roommates to the death in a kickboxing tournament.
11. When did you last laugh?
-This morning reading the comments on my Deviant Art site.
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
-White walls and very few pics...she needs to decorate.
13. Seen anything weird lately?
-Playing Soul Caliber 3 when you pic "Create Random Character" I got a grape colored Librarian fighter.
14. What do you think of this quiz?
I don’t know…I’m bored
15. What is the last film you saw?
Hoodwinked the animated thing, it was better than I thought and admission was only $2, how can you beat that?
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
- A house boat, and a good car...use some for investing and traveling money to see things. Then settle down in a country house somewhere with enough bedrooms that my loved ones could live with me. And finally build a proper shine under a tree for all my loved ones that are already gone.
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
-I have a hard time expressing how I really feel.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
-I would create a food source that could taste like anything but did not require plants or animals to die to make it.
19. Do you like to dance? Yeah, sometimes, but I'm not very good
20. George Bush...
-He doesn't bother me much and I try not to complain about him...
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Sandrine or Lyric
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?:
-Donovan Cole (last name)
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
-Yes, definately. But not forever.
24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
Hey I thought you were buddhist? Oh well, you can't get it right everytime.
25. 3 people who must also do this in THEIR journal:
- Majo - Meagan and -James
comment on this journal and.......
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me. (If I can think of something)
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that i've always wondered about you. (maybe)
8. If i do this for you, you must post this on your journal
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, December 4th, 2005
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4:58 am - Here is A Story I wrote "Stay By Me"
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| Sunday, November 27th, 2005
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5:16 am - Today
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Today I got a job, office work short term but good pay.
Today I was forced to be a girl
Today I hoped she was alright, for real not just in show.
Today I felt quiet in my old friend's house
Today I remembered when I used to love Christmas
Today I did not argue with my mom
Today I cried again... so useless
Today I started having the flashbacks again... why?
Now... I am to tired to think about tomorrow. I still don't understand today.
current mood:  drained
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| Sunday, November 20th, 2005
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11:20 pm - Just a Thought
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I feel more and more lately that I should be much more quiet. I think I'll take my own advice.
Here is something MacKenzie posted that looked interesting.
Google "(your name) needs" including the quotes and turn into a poll or list.
Darian needs $750.00 per month by court order.
Darian needs a distraction.
Darian needs permission to arrange safe passage for some people.
Darian needs a little help.
Darian needs to know.
Darian needs 2 or 3 glass rods so she can do lightning bolts.
Darian needs to tell someone the story of Dawn.
Darian needs glasses.
Darian needs to do something with that hair.
Darian needs to have a word with you.
Darian needs a really good smiting.
Darian needs help, he needs me.
Darian needs you on that island.
This really amused me. I'm not sure why but you should try it for the hell of it. I went by the actual text description that referrenced "Darian Needs"
current mood: amused
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, November 13th, 2005
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5:19 pm
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| Tuesday, November 8th, 2005
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7:16 am - Right now
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I am working on a short story right now... I was encouraged to do so by Mel-chan so I'm taking a chance. We'll see what happens.
For now here is another fun net quiz I wrote.
You are a border line fanatic. You love anime and
have actually used the phrase "Inuyasha is
my dawg! Seshomaru roxorz!" before. Yet
you are not the type of guy or girl who never
goes out on a friday night because you'd rather
be spending time with your collectible, one of
a kind figurines. Congradulations!
Are You An Otaku?! (anime pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
Be well all, and since this is only one I hope Rendia won't mind too much. ;)
current mood:  busy
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, November 7th, 2005
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10:27 am - I've been obsessed
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The other night I came across the concept of pure feeling. I want to write some pieces that come as close as I possibly can to describing the purest emotional rushes that I can. Is it possible to ever frame something as intense and singular as primal feeling? I want to make people's stomach tense when they read it, I want their heart to ache, their mind to reel and their hearts to beat a little faster...and I want them to thank me for it. Being a writer in and of itself is a kind of vainity.
Other news: Friday was Nathan's birthday, we all had way too much cake and ice cream in this house! Sunday was my roommate Linden's birthday and my father's birthday. I made cupcakes for my father with some left overs. The bad part is that they smell gorgeously wonderful and fruity but I don't like the way they taste. Even now I can smell them and it's making me want to eat what I would want to regret. Although my appetite has gone away again lately... I hope I'm not swinging backwards.
Give me a little more time and maybe I can do something great. Since when have I wanted more time?
(Thought of the day)
current mood:  curious
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, November 6th, 2005
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6:52 am - I'm sorry... more randomness
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I can't think straight because my teethies hurt... ow ::makes the ow face:: So I waste time taking stupid quizes... here's the results.
You are a Air Queen. You and your kingdom are
happy. Dreaming and Feelings are very
important.
What kind of Queen are you? ( With BEAUTIFULL pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla
You need guidance.
You have become very confused in your life
right now and are unable to make decisions that
pleases you. You may resort to drastic measures
as harming yourself, but the situation doesn't
seem to get any better by whatever method you
are using for now. There is a pain inside
because of this and you feel helpless in your
life, thinking you will never find your way
back. But even though the path may seem dark
you still try to find yourself, which means
your inner battle is not over.
What Do You Need in Your Life? [dark pics]
brought to you by Quizilla
I told you they knew... these quiz people must be watching me... ::cackles::
Magical Being- you take care of all magical beings,
and cannot let your identity be know, because
then the creatures that you took care of would
be put into a zoo.
What is your secret identity? (anime pics-girls only)
brought to you by Quizilla
Who told?
You will be a starving artist....either a musician,
artist, poet, novelist...once you break out of
your shell, then you will become noticed...and
become one of them.
-You will have no kids
-You will get married at like your late twenties to
thirties
-You will marry another artist...one kinda like
Gerard Way or Marylin Manson
-You'll live in a friend or relatives basement
meh, a look into ure future(Beautiful anime pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
ooo that sounds promising. :)
You chose hazel eyes.
That means you are a very sweet, thoughtful person.
You are gulliable too, so it's hard for you to
sometimes say no to situations you don't like.
You're too worried that you might hurt
someone's feelings that a lot of the time you
don't think about what you want. You are also
very generous. You love to hang out with your
friends, and laugh at every little
"funny" thing.
The Eye color personality test
brought to you by Quizilla
cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed
What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Tense---Do you feel the need for power? I thought
so. As the picture so honestly points out, you
like to be in control. Based on your
handwriting though, you can be a little tense
and nervous sometimes. Thats okay, we are all
stressed out every once in a while. How hard
you push down on the paper and how carefull you
are about writing your letters is stress
indicated by the tension in your hands and
fingers. Its possible that you sometimes have
extreme pain in your hands after writing a
paper. If you loosen your grip a little and try
to link your letters together a little more,
the tension may lighten up a little, and so may
your stress.
WHAT DOES YOUR HANDWRITING SAY ABOUT YOU??? <-----------
brought to you by Quizilla
Because I do you know.. own your ass. hehe
Psionics is your specialty.
You seem to know every thought that comes to
everyone's minds and every word before it comes
out of anyone's mouth. You know the answer
before the question, and can at some times
detect the truth from the lies. You are a
mysterious person, an enigma many people find
puzzling. However, they tend to stay away from
you, due to the fact that you know what they
are thinking. Only a selected few, who can
brave your all-knowing mind actually befriend
you. You are loyal only to those who actually
made the first move to becoming your friend. To
them, you share some secrets, but you still
remain an enigma.
Everyone has a secret ability. What is yours? (7 answers with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
You are lukewarm! Your heart is good and whole, but
you have built a wall around it, so no-one can
see the true you. Shine, and show your
colours-you will make a beautiful rainbow.
Please rate and message!
How Cold is Your Heart? ^Pretty Pics^ *Many Outcomes*
brought to you by Quizilla
Okay, that's enough
current mood:  bored
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005
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10:31 pm - Arrrrrrggggghhhhh
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Okay, today Nathan and I went out to Simi Valley to go check out the scene of the accident he was in. At the corner of Cochran and Sequoia. He has been having trouble remembering exactly what happened because he was a bit dazed at the time and then whisked away by an ambulance (because they didn't know if he had a neck injury at the time.). As we are nearing the scene, getting off the freeway at Sycamore and turning onto Cochran my car decides to do it's speacial trick of not having breaks. The problem that was supposedly non-existent is now occurring again.
Luckily the parking break light comes on when it's about to have this problem so I knew I had to get off the road quickly. When this happened the first time in Santa Monica we had been driving in stop and go traffic for awhile and were about to get on the freeway when I noticed that pressing the brakes didn't make the car slow down. I was pretty paniced, especially because my mother was there freaking out completely. When I pressed on the pedal there was no resistance until it hit the floor which made the car come to a dead stop. I coasted and bunny hopped to a parking lot then had a huge scene with my mother which resulted in the car being towed to the local Sears auto center. Sears said that the master break cylinder (ABS) was faulty and had to be replaced... something I don't have the money for at all. We left it with them for three days and my parents had it towed back to their place, my father intending to fix it or at least assess the damage himself. He tried it once they already paid $200 dollars to have it towed and mysteriously the brakes worked. He then used it to drive down the street to work everyday for two weeks without problem. Declared that I must have tried to drive it with the e-brake on and over heated the brakes. I insisted something more was amiss because I never even use my e-brake but no one listened to me.
Back to today my car starts having it's brake issue again and I pull off into the same area where Nathan had his accident and leave it there parked on a side street. I call home and my father assures me he'll come and look at it as soon as he can and drive me home. My mother meanwhile complains that I'd make her late for her movie and I am making a huge hassel for her. At this point I've had it, I yell at her and told her I'd figure it out myself and she could go do whatever the hell she wanted because I didn't need her. Nathan and I decide to give my car time to cool down hoping that it would maybe work later or that I could limp it home at a time when the traffic was very low. We walked to the Sycamore plaza and looked at the stores... got a few things for his birthday tomorrow. Then suddenly ran into Majo-chan, she was very sympathetic and kept us company for awhile. I got a call that my father was bringing the two of them out anyway and that he'd call again when they were close. When they arrived my dad and ... oddly enough the guy who own the house I had to stop in front of looked over my car and were baffled at why it wouldn't work, then resolved that I should take it to a professional. The man who owned the house there said he didn't mind if I left the car there a few days while we arranged for towing or repairs. Meanwhile I'm getting lectured by my mother about how I need a reality check about how I'm going to find work to pay for all our recent unforseen expenses. In her mind she shouldn't have to help us out with anything and we should know how to get by completely without help. I'm not saying they are obligated but it would be nice if I could turn to them just to give me a ride home, which was all I was asking for. Now my mother is completely pissed at me and I don't want to talk to her.
Nathan's car is wrecked and the insurence is taking it's time getting back to us. I don't know how I'm going to get him to work because my car is barely running and can't seem to make long trips. I have no idea how I'm going to get to LA for my dental treatment now and I've been feeling ill enough to make the job search very difficult for me. This is how I'm doing now, this is why you won't see me for awhile and this is why I don't know what to do. Thank you again Majo for your offer of help and thanks again to Lari and her husbend (if you ever read this) for driving us home on the night of Nathan's accident. I like to think that things happen for a reason but right now I'm hoping this situation is random. I don't want to know what this means otherwise.
current mood: aggravated
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, November 1st, 2005
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6:35 am - I'm so tired that I can't sleep
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My roommates were married today and this is the most strangely sentimental I've ever seen them. I tried to do my part in making things go smoothly by helping to clean the house for guests and being positive (as a person like me can be) despite the wierdness going on in all our lives.
Very odd, this is how the last few days went:
Last monday: Nothing interesting, preparing for wedding and Halloween
Tuesday: Working, looking for more work, preparing for Halloween
Wednesday: Get a call from Nathan's Father, his grandmother has died. It was expected but still sad for Nathan.
Thursday: No one has RSVP'ed for their wedding... small cerimony but it would have been nice if they had called! Get a call for Xavier, his grandfather had a heart attack and double bypass surgery. They want him to come out and visit.
Friday: Xavier and Linden go to visit family in Pheonix, AZ. They come home late that night.
Saturday: Get a call for Xavier, the surgery failed and his grandfather has died. That night finds out that the funeral will be small and held the next day. Linden stays here to panic about wedding and Xavier goes back to Pheonix.
Sunday: That night Nathan gets into a car accident but is luckily unhurt. The car is wrecked but he only had aches and bruises. Also that night Xavier coming back for his wedding after the funeral get into a car accident. Totals that car but also comes out of it just fine. Makes it home late that night.
Monday: Marathon house cleaning before guests arrive, wedding cerimony... (I can't make it because now we have too little transportation and my car broke down a few weeks back) we welcome guests back at our place afterwards. Then all travel to a restaraunt for the celebration dinner and everyone relaxes somewhat. We all come home and craaaash. Except... I can't sleep.
So very odd and strange... I'm tired.
current mood: tired
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, October 30th, 2005
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7:26 am - More stupid net quizzes because I can't sleep
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3:43 am - Okay I'm over being pissed
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I'm over being pissed now and have slunk into something much more lethargic. I come home after being gone for a day and a half with friends and the house is even more messy with my boyfriend in the middle of it having been on WoW the entire time. ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!! then :sigh:
He then proceeds to not say more than "Hi honey, I missed you." before he's back to WoW for the next 3 and a half hours. While I sit around being bored, thinking -Maybe he'll realize it's bad to ignore your girlfriend. When he's finally too tired to play I'm no longer in the mood to spend any time with him so just log on the comp myself to fiddle with art. He looks at me and says in a surprised voice "Oh, you're getting on?" I nod. "Oh, well I guess I have to go to bed by myself then." he said in a hurt voice. Around the edges I'm still irritated but in the middle I'm just tired, I don't want to argue about the stupid electronics addiction running rampant in this house. I give up.
To end on a not bitter note: My kitten is still very cute.
current mood:  blah
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, October 29th, 2005
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2:31 pm - I am so irritated
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I'm so sick of people that can't be troubled to be decent. Right now I am sooo pissed I could scream. Have you ever had a friend that is a complete asshole most of the time, making lewd comments, saying sexual things about you in front of his girlfriend and your boyfriend which makes both of them hate you, is constantly rude, and almost never considers other people's feelings above their own unless they think they can get something out of it? Now imagine that all through high school you made exceptions for this friend, you defended them to other people in your group when they came out and said "You know what? He's an asshole!", you tried to be on his side and drove a fucking hour and a half to go to his house despite the fact that you couldn't afford the gas, all he did when you got there is watch a really bad movie with his roommate and provided no refreshments for the people that he invited to come. Still you defend him, saying "Oh he's not that bad" and try to ignore the fact that he treats his nice girlfriend like a house servant most of the time and the rest of the world like they owe him something. Then he openly insults you saying that you never make a fucking effort to do anything for him and you're a child compared to his "grown up" ass. I am so fucking pissed off. I will never support anyone like that again, I wanted to give this person the benefit of the doubt because he used to be nice a LONG time ago, but never again. I'm not that kind of door mat, no more favors or defending of character... I'm fucking over it.
current mood: angry
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dariannox's journal
anxious
